I had my ultra sound last Friday and I heard the dreaded words that I’ve been told before, “It’s too early to see a heartbeat.” We’ve been in this boat before, we’ve gotten this far but never once have we seen a heartbeat so it’s hard not to over analyze and worry. I hate to admit it but the people at my clinic were more excited to see me and hear about my pregnancy than I have been. I feel like if I don’t get emotionally involved yet I’m protecting my heart. I keep waiting for more symptoms to kick in, I’ve gotten up the last few nights and have gone to the bathroom. I’m wondering if I’m doing it because I know that’s what pregnant people are supposed to do. Your mind can play such funny tricks on you. My biggest symptom are still my boobs….oh boy do they hurt. Someone hugged me the other day and I wanted to cry because it hurt so much. There’s my glimmer of hope…sad I know! The dr wants me to come back in this Fri for another US. He told me like it was, either we see a heartbeat or we know I’m going to miscarry. He tells me like it is but yet when I saw him at my last appt he gave me a big hug. We see the dr’s as such all knowing beings that it’s easy to forget that they go through this journey with us as well and they want us to bring home a baby just as much as we want it. For that I can appreciate the matter of fact conversations that we share because I know someone has to be strong for us.
So it’s Tues and I have roughly another 3 days to get through before I have my appt. We decided tonight would be date night and what better way to spend a date night than by eating breakfast for dinner. Yes my friends it’s been on my calendar for a month, Mcdonald’s has finally started serving all day breakfast. Dinner will consist of our favorite breakfast foods and then off to the movies we go. I’ll just try to keep myself busy for the remainder for the week so my mind doesn’t wander too much. Here’s to a quick rest of the week and good news on Friday!