What can I buy that’ll make me feel better today

That’s the question going through my head as I’m making the mad dash to Target over my lunch hour. Target is a quick 10 minute walk through our skyway system and as I was walking there I passed a little boy who looked to be about 3, he was pressed up against the window pane fascinated with the big bulldozer that was tearing the street up below. Just watching his innocence made me smile, I looked at his mom and told her how cute he was. As I walked away I got a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Gosh what if I never get to experience those little moments with a child of my own. It’s just not fair. Everything is pissing me off lately and I hate who I’ve become. At least I can acknowledge it so that has to be worth something right?!? CD 1 made it’s appearance today and guess what…it pissed me off. lol. Another failed IUI, even with an increased dosage of meds and 4 really good follicles…I don’t get it. Work and the people I work with are all bugging me which prompted the trip to Target, I needed to get away and needed some sort of instant gratification that was going to make me feel better. It’s silly but I’ve lived by this mantra since my early years in college, no matter how ugly I look/feel if I just put some lipstick on things won’t be so bad. Little did I know I would attend a motivational talk by an amazing woman named Jodi Hills who writes inspirational books and one of her books is called “Slap a Little Lipstick on you’ll be Fine.” I have the artwork for the cover of the book framed and it’s in my bathroom to remind me that no matter what the situation if I just put on a little lipstick, I can get through it. So my bad day brought me straight to the make-up aisle. I went up and down the aisles picking out tubes and putting them back until one of the make-up experts came up to me and asked if I needed help. Oh did I ever need help. I told her I needed a pick me up and to help me find a color that was fabulous without being too boring. I was skeptical but I still headed straight into the bathroom and Slapped my Lipstick on and you know what…it did make me feel better. I cling to the little things in life that bring me some kind of happiness and for me it’s a simple $7.00 tube of lipstick. It’s the color that I pick out to wear before each and every IUI..I’m still hoping one of those colors turns out to be “my lucky color.” The color I pick out when John asks me out on a date and today it’s the color the expert picked out for me which made my day a little less bad than it was before. I’m gonna keep slapping on my lipstick because one day I really will be fine.

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