These last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve gotten where I’ve gotten. I have a tendency to get all nostalgic during the big events in my life and considering my transfer is 13 days away my mind has been on overload. We’ve been on this journey for 6 years and in 22 days we’ll know if the fight was worth it or if we’re done with it all. I’m scared…scared that we’ll get our positive, scared that we won’t, scared to walk away from all of this with our heads held high knowing we did everything in our power to bring home our 1plus1shouldequal3. I was so naive in the beginning, I’m not anymore. Inferitlity has taught me more about myself, my body, my relationship, the people around me and my finances than I ever would have cared to know. It’s scarred me up on the inside and the out and a part of me hates it and another part of me is grateful. It’s weird how you can hate something but yet be grateful at the same time. I’m grateful because it’s given me a voice and has taught me how to be the biggest advocate for myself. It’s challenged my relationship but hasn’t damaged it. With every obstacle, let down and heartache John has been there for me and I’ve fallen in love with him more and more every day because of it. I’m going to leave you with my favorite lyric that I blast everytime I feel any doubt or sadness. Thanks for being my inspiration Eminem!
If you had
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture
Or just let it slip?
4 thoughts on “Remembering who I was then and now”
Thinking of you. Hoping transfer went well! Update us when you can 🙂
Ok well obviously my math sucks. It’s the 6th? Lol!! Good luck momma!!!
Thanks for remembering! I’ve been in game mode all week then I had my ultra sound and my lining isn’t thick enough so they’re pushing it out another week. Now I’m sporting 2 sexy estrogen patches. Weird cuz I’ve never had lining issues before, when I went in and did the retrieval I was at a 9.
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Omg I’m sorry your lining isn’t cooperating! That sucks and I hope that the patches work out for you. I had to wear them because the vaginal and oral estrace gave me all kinds of issues!!