In nine days I will have beat infertility because in nine days I will be checking in to the hospital to have my scheduled c-section. John has called this last month my Victory Lap because it’s not about worrying any more it’s about winning the race we’ve been in for the last eight years. Cue my tears.
Pregnancy is by far one of the easiest things I’ve ever done in my life. Everything just agreed with me and even at 37wks and 4 days I still feel amazing and I’m sad that the pregnancy is coming to an end but I’m excited for what the rest of our lives have in store for us as parents.
As people found out I was pregnant I was more open to share my story because quite truthfully I’m tired of people not talking about infertility and I’m tired of being embarrassed and ashamed of what I’ve had to go through to get to this point. I’m honest and tell people it took us eight years, which included 5 losses, 6 surgeries and multiple rounds of IVF. I sometimes tear up as I tell my story and I’m ok showing emotion because this is one of the hardest and loneliest journeys I’ve ever been through. Last week there was a woman who works down the aisle from me that came over to tell me she had no idea I was pregnant (which I get a lot from work people) and to congratulate me. She then shared that her two children were IVF babies and in that very second of her sharing with me, we became IVF sisters. We compared our journey’s and cried together because those infertility feelings are raw no matter how much time has passed.
I reflect on what 3/20 will hold for me and I don’t think there’s any way for me to comprehend it, put it into words or truly know the emotions that I will feel that day. I’ve been trying really hard to live in the present and enjoy the little and big things that this pregnancy has given me. I’ve been saying this since the day I found out I was pregnant, this is the baby that chose me to be it’s mom and it’s a title that I will never ever take for granted.