It’s all about the numbers.

It’s been a week since I got the results from my embryo genetic screening. One embryo froze on day 5, one embryo on day 6 and one embryo on day 7. I waited 10 days to get the PGS results, 10 big X’s marked my calendar in red pen. Silly me to think that all three of my snowflakes would be genetically perfect. The Dr started the conversation with you have one genetically good embryo and then proceeded to tell me the fate of my other two. I didn’t think I would be so emotional about the ones that essentially wouldn’t make it, I cried and then when I was done crying I felt sad like really sad. Everybody was like, “but you have one, that’s all you need.” I couldn’t even be excited about one because I wanted two that way I was guaranteed another chance in case the first one didn’t take. So here I am a week later knowing I’ve got one chance to make this happen and I’m going to do whatever it takes phyically and mentally to be in the best spot possible. Right before I started my injections I decided to give up soda and to add an extra day or two into my weekly gym schedule, this is probably the only area of my infertile life I feel like I can control. I have a nurse consult on May 25th and my tentative transfer date is set for July 5th, which was the soonest they could even get me in. They were quick to send me a bill for the transfer, I’ll have to pay them another $2500 when I go in for my appt on the 25th. This will bring our total out of pocket up to $16,000, ugh that just makes me cringe.

John surprised me and booked us a week long FL beach vacation and we leave next weekend! Cue my money meltdown, how can we afford a vacation when we’re spending so much on IVF. He talked me off the ledge and convinced me that we needed this and he didn’t care how much it cost. He’s got a point, it’s been a crazy two months with him having his knee surgery which he finally got off his crutches last week and all of the IVF stuff we’ve been doing and we still have another two months until transfer. So all money worries are going to be set aside and I’m going to focus on what’s important and that’s keeping my head in the IVF game and re-connecting with my better half.

Retrieval Day!

Actually yesterday was the big day but I didn’t realize how painful this whole thing was going to be and I spent the majority of the day recovering. Seriously was the retrieval painful for you? I don’t know how people do retrievals more than  once, you all deserve a huge pat on the back if you’ve attempted this multiple times. They told me that I would be fine taking extra strength tylenol, that did nothing for me, thank god I had a few extra pain pills from a past surgery. Today is less bad but I’m still really bloated and if I push on my stomach or move the wrong way it’s very uncomfortable. Thank goodness this landed on the weekend because there’s no way I could have gone to work. They retrieved 9 eggs, I was hoping for a few more especially since when I went in on Thursday morning I had more than 9. It is what it is though. The lab will be calling me tomorrow to let me know how things are progressing.

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This is a card I gave to John the day before the retrieval. I bought this card 2 years ago, it’s been with us on 3 different vacations in the hopes I would get my BFP and I could give it to him but it never happened. I thought giving it to him now would be the perfect time. It just makes me smile.

I have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow but what I do know is we gave it the best shot we could. Here’s to hoping and wishing for the best news possible!